122. The Depth and Foundation of Children‘s Up-bringing
My beloved brethren, I, Christ, want to return to the issue of children‘s up-bringing once again since today it is not being explained to you anywhere. Different text books on children‘s psychology, different books devoted to children‘s up-bringing do not teach the association with children as the main subject that has always to be grounded on conversations about the Father. You, in many ways, do not conform to the truth while pursuing the momentary results as to how to raise the child healthy, joyful, enjoying a good relationship with his parents and the environment but you absolutely do not raise him as the grown-up child of the Father. This is where all the roots of your present pain and suffering lie in. You want to raise your child only the way you think he might be a good child or a grown-up person. But how shall you raise him as such if you are not good yourselves and never show a live example that your child might follow. It is due to this problem that I would like to return to this key issue of humanity once again.
Today all the system of the children development and education is far from being in conformity with the evolutionary plan on the spiritual development of an individual designed by the Father. Therefore, it is necessary what does not conform to it to put back onto a normal track.
When more than thirty-eight-thousand years ago Adam and Eve, created by me the son and daughter of the Father, whom we call the Material Sons and Daughters, arrived on your planet they had the main mission – to create the violet race and by this to improve your biological development. To improve your biological resistance to diseases and even your spiritual receptivity depended upon their mission. Unfortunately, they have failed in their mission and you have almost received no violet life plasma of theirs. Therefore, now it is so difficult for you to comprehend spiritual teachings that only a very small part of humanity are seeking. Due to this you do not know how to raise your children following a spiritual method rather than an intellectual one that is dominant at present.
And still the Father‘s plan is unstoppable for it is designed for a spiritual development of all the creation. And not a single creature is capable of stopping or ceasing it. Therefore, now you also have to make a choice whether you desire that the other generations of your brethren should also suffer the way you do, or on the contrary, you desire to reduce their suffering and even to contribute to their physical and spiritual growth on a much higher level than the current one of yours. The decision as well as the actions are yours while the fruits shall be used by the future generations thru the wiser decisions and actions made by your children, grandchildren, and further generations in all the walks of life of their own selves.
Adam and Eve have been transported in down from the Satania system that also your world, named as Urantia, belongs to, and their life plasma, implanted at a certain time into your ancient ancestors, today would have also already yielded you very good fruits both genetic and spiritual. While now it is you who must be in place of Adam and Eve and lay a better foundation even to the genetic legacy for the generations to come by a much higher spiritual development of your children.
Therefore, at first, you have to perfect yourselves spiritually by consciously choosing this path of being perfected rather than by rushing about from one path to another and yet being unable to understand as to where you are. And to grasp this you might use these teachings of mine. However, these teachings are superficial and meant for your daily application. Much more thorough and deeper teachings are presented in the Revelation that is called The Urantia Book, and in which you shall be able to read a consistent description of my life in the human flesh that has been presented in this Revelation with my approval. From it, you shall also get to know about my efforts in raising my junior brothers and sisters after my father‘s, Joseph‘s, tragic death while I was only fourteen years old. That will help you get a better view of both my adolescent years and my attitude to the-then system of learning that forbade girls to attend school so that I had no other choice but to take up a teacher‘s role at home and teach my sisters similar subjects that I learnt at school. Now I would like to stress the up-bringing of children so that you would understand that peace and concord in the society depend upon them.
Not a single child is born as somewhat different but as the one who would be formed up by your environment. He is born as a blank sheet of paper onto which, as a painter on the canvas, you can paint a picture that will be able to sooth and arouse admiration or that will cause pain and suffering. Every picture reflects the character and feelings of the painter.
You, being the parents of the child, can raise him as an enlightened son or daughter of the Father, but you can also be disinterested in all these things and leave your child victim to the instincts of his animal self, and even strengthening them. Today you have forgotten your children, you see only dolls that you call your children. Whenever you want to play with a doll you approach the child but whenever you do not want it that child cannot call for your attention. But even the fact that the child does not receive your exclusive and full-of-love attention is also his up-bringing. He is learning as to how he will have to associate with his children. It is only the Father‘s spirit that is knocking at your soul and at the child‘s soul – get closer to each other by the spiritual bond of the Father‘s love, take a look at each by the relationship of a permanent spiritual association with the child full of love rather than by the look of short moments and by that satisfying your pleasure.
The father or mother must never toady to any whims of the child that ruin the character of the child‘s personality from within. I was teaching my apostles that a wise father would never give his child a sea snake if it was caught in a fish net together with other fish even though the child might be pleading for it. Such a whim of the child might have a very high price to that very child. Will the child be satisfied if this whim has not been met? Of course, not. Will you, realizing the consequences, not approve of this wise father‘s decision either, as the child? Of course, you shall approve of it. You see much further and clearer than the child, and realize that the child does not yet understand such a tragic outcome to himself. Therefore, there is no opposition once there is such an obvious example of a possible dire outcome should the father concede to the child‘s whim. However, do not you see these very same things within your own families? Why are you so unwise and such a big part of you hand in a sea snake to your child as soon as he desires it? Is it merely because of that you are as little children yourselves and unable to comprehend these tragic consequences to your children once you rush to meet their whims no sooner than your little offspring desires something? Not at all, since you have been told by your parents, and have read about it, that pampering one‘s children always causes problems as the child grows, since, with years, the desires also grow. And you have experienced it by yourselves many a time as the thought pierces your mind what you will have to do further on as the requests for presents are ever bigger. And you are giving presents to them with all your might. You are handing in a snake to the child. And then you are getting surprised that problems ever grow, there is no end to solving them, your relations do not get stronger in any way, there is no warmth and understanding. There is only a headache alone. Your children are not interested in anything, or they show their interest in what you would not desire they would be interested in. And you are permanently wondering as to what the child is lacking, why there is this ingratitude even though everything best within the family is given to him?
At first, you have to learn to discern the fish from the water snake yourselves. It is only then that you will be able to be certain you are not giving it to your child. By using this metaphor I had not in mind a snake in the direct sense of this word but rather all good and evil that is present in one‘s life. Any evil can turn at a very dangerous angle against each of you or all the society if no efforts are taken to turn it into goodness. And how to translate evil to goodness it is this teaching of mine that gives explanations to you.
Now I can explain to you much and in detail as to how you must raise your children but my words shall still remain to you merely vain if you do not try to discover the Father within. And it is only after you shall discover the Father within yourselves that you shall sense that it is only now that you have comprehended in what way you need to raise your children, to associate with them, and to grow together with them so that they would feel a living flow of the Father‘s love pouring out of you. And they shall immediately react to this living vibration of love. Now you are unable to permanently emit the vibrations of the Father’s love for as soon as you step away from your child these vibrations are being immediately blocked within you since you take up other jobs without the Father‘s love. Only while seeing your beloved offspring you can liberate these very vibrations of the Father‘s love. And even in this case provided that there is no tension in your business, if you are not wearied by other problems, if your mind is not preoccupied with some thoughts on a meeting with your friends, if you are not preparing in your thoughts for some date with someone and hiding it. All these thoughts that are not tinged with the vibrations of the Father‘s love are immediately blocking these very vibrations. And you can check it by yourselves as to when your association with your child is full of love and sincere and when it is only outward and fake as if you were carrying a heavy burden that you would desire to get unburdened from as soon as possible.
And as this artificial association is becoming ever more often, as its moments turn ever longer your child stops feeling the love vibrations that have been emanated from you and he starts demanding your attention, he desires to associate with you, and at that time you are making the very first step to bribe him by giving him the first snake – some rattle toy so that the child would be busy with and leave you alone at least for a moment. That is your first mistake in associating with your child. Actually it equals a betrayal. It might be called a mistake merely because nobody has taught you that this association has to be without rattles but rather live. However, it is your first betrayal when your little one is asking for your love and you do not give it to him while offering him its surrogate – the artificial toys that are designed by businessmen; and as time runs on become more sophisticated and obviously more expensive. And your betrayal is becoming ever deeper for you also feel irritation because of the fact that very soon your child gets bored with the toys, and you need to buy him a new one. And that is an expensive thing to satisfy the outer pleasure of the child.
It is a live relationship, a live association that is necessary for the child while you are buying him with the dead toys that have no value for his growth. Wrong attitudes are being pressed upon you by the psychologists, nursery teachers, school teachers, industry, advertisements. All these things do not build up the child‘s character.
On the contrary, they incite a ceaseless growth of the child‘s whims. And again you hold out a snake to the child since he is asking namely for it. And your live association with the child you do limit down to the very minimum. However, even this minimum is not a live association. If you talk with the child for a moment or two already in your thoughts you are somewhere else and are trying to distance yourself from this association with your child as soon as possible. And again your child does not receive from you the vibrations of the Father‘s love, he does not receive a living water of the Father for his soul. And how could he receive it if you do not have it yourself, if your own vessel is empty. Therefore, you are trying to pour out upon your child only your outer attention without an inner life.
Can you do any job well if you do not focus all your attention on it? Of course, not. Each job is meant namely to concentrate one‘s all attention on. And the one who breaks this principle very often encounters very painful consequences while even doing a minor work. And if some tools, especially the sharp ones, or some equipment must be used for doing that work you can also get injured, or injure others.
The child‘s up-bringing is still more dangerous. You can injure or completely kill the child‘s soul. That is the biggest possible pain to all the creation when a soul has no possibilities to bloom out in order to rise in a free flight after its resurrection.
Therefore, while raising your child you must always be very attentive. Never be such that your thoughts would wander somewhere else. Always while being with your child associate with him sincerely. You are painting a picture grounded on the sincere feelings. The painter shall be judged by it. Others shall judge you by your children. And if all the time while staying with your child you associate with him sincerely, if you stay all the time opened up to him then this relationship transcends any rattles or any even though very expensive and nice but dead toys. And this living relationship of yours cannot be replaced by any most expensive toys.
A live association is nothing else but talking with the child. Talk with him all the time. Relate him about your feelings, describe him the environment, tell him nice fairy tales invented by you, sing him songs. And do everything very sincerely, all the time repeating ordinary correct words of your own language rather than imitating the sounds of the little one.
And then you shall see by yourselves as to how much receptive are these little ones and how much they can perceive.
When you do not allow them to rise, gradually, to your level but rather by toadying to them adapt yourselves to their level and start talking their own language how then they can hear a standard language and learn it faster and better. A live association is also playing together. You can invent plenty of games yourselves. You are a creator. You are really painting a picture. Let your fancy carry you away, let it manifest itself in your association with your child if there is no other room for it to manifest itself. At the same time you will be developing the mind of your child as well. And much more than any dead toys will. But the most important thing is that you must everywhere reveal the environment and the Source of this environment – the Father – to him. The child since his very young days must experience that throughout the environment there is a loving hand of the Father that always helps and soothes, even more than that of yours. All this shall set in deeply in the little one‘s sub-consciousness. And it shall allow him to know the Father much better as he grows on. This way you are raising your child as a new son or daughter of the Father for all the creation as it has been designed by the Father‘s evolutionary plan on the development of mortals. And this way you shall form the sprouts of love and goodness in his soul that shall be able to manifest itself by good thoughts and deeds much earlier. And that shall also have a tremendous impact on the child‘s physical health. The child shall grow much stronger and healthier than the other children of his age who will not be raised in this manner.
It is the family that must play the main role for humanity to embark upon the path of a spiritual development. Therefore, no nursery schools can tackle this task. This task is meant exclusively for the family. Thus, the nursery schools will gradually disappear for there shall be no need for them. The children will grow within the families. All the orphans will be adopted as well. Now my words do not sound convincingly. However, it shall be exactly the way I am saying. There shall be no more abandoned children. For this time to arrive sooner much depends upon your, each, personal decision to turn at the Father, discover Him within your own selves, and devote all you jobs to Him only, consecrate all your living only to Him, and lead a full-blooded and very active daily life merely supplying it with the motive of the Father‘s love and service.