147. Light Experiences the Resistance of Darkness
And a bigger perception shall also open up for you the spiritual path and you shall see the whole environment much deeper. And due to a deeper vision you shall start behaving in a different way, not like the others around. And you shall behave like this neither to elevate yourselves nor to tease those around you but rather because this manner of living shall become the only natural one yet for those around you it shall be beyond understanding and therefore irritating. You have the following saying: “A black sheep.“ It is exactly the same sheep yet merely because of a different color it is noticeable and therefore disliked.
That I am telling you so that you would know that on this path of light not only a bliss is awaiting you but also a resistance on the part of those who shall be trying to take away from you this very bliss, being provided by the Father, and shall be threatening to harm you just to get you back to them, into the herd of the similar sheep, so that you must be in no way different than the other sheep.
The Father is leading all and each. And He is leading all in the same way. It is only not all that begin to feel His leading. However, after having started feeling it they certainly cannot carry on with their former style of living. They do not want to live in the darkness any more when, at least for a moment, they have felt the taste of light and freedom from the ritualistic restrictions, when they have experienced a living love of the Father himself, they do not really desire to get back to the environment of the previous tension and uncertainty. On the contrary, they desire to share with that environment everything what they are experiencing themselves. Therefore, this type of spreading of light, and with love and devotion at that, is the thing that begins to irritate others who do not yet love others and who are not devoted to goodness and who are still governed by their animal and lower selves. Thus, you must bear in mind that you shall encounter the enormous surf of resistance that shall be proportionate to your actions. The more you stride into the depth of a spiritual path the further away you get from the dark environment, the less you are understood by this environment the more ferociously it attacks you.
To be able to weaken this offensive you must have a living relationship with the Father, you must keep a living communion and talk with Him to receive the teachings from the Father as to how to act wisely in every situation when your mind can dictate such decisions that might provoke your environment to still fiercer actions against you. Keep in mind that the Father uniformly loves both you, who have discovered Him within yourselves, and your brethren, who attack you, however aggressive and angry they might be in relation to you. Therefore, the Father‘s counseling shall help you run into a conflict with those, who have progressed on a spiritual path less, as little as possible. After some time you shall also begin to feel both love and mercy for these full-of-anger brethren of yours. And your attitude to them shall change so much that your actions shall become milder and arouse less disappointment to your brethren.
It is this that shall be your new experience that shall confirm to you that you cannot change others in any other way but with your uniform service to all in love and mercy. You can change directly only yourself by your bigger devotion to the Father. I was also doing it while in the human flesh. My environment was unfavorable to me very much and it was trying to press upon me and to squeeze me into such a framework of tradition and ritual that were impeding me to sense a live bond with a living Father. Therefore I did not resist these rituals but I used to go out by myself to commune with the Father in my own words, in my own thoughts the way, I believed, it was possible to commune with Him as with my living earthly father. And I would talk with the Father every day and a lot. And it was only after some time that I started experiencing that my thoughts were being expanded that much that I began to sense they were not my former thoughts any more, they were much purer and more chaste thoughts. And when, in addition, I began to feel the waves of love within me then I did start to realize that it was the Father who was speaking to me.
The Father is speaking in such a way as to be heard by everyone who sincerely desires and seeks it. And it was this relationship with the Father that was changing me. Out of a restless child it was making me into a lad who was vigorous but possessing a deeper outlook and who started noticing even such actions that had not yet been made by the friends of my environment but that would be made just in a moment. I began to feel a little bit ahead. And that feeling was developed by my relationship with the Father for it allowed me to foresee the actions of the people merely because I began to see their character traits deeper. And knowing the character of man deeper one can already foresee an action by that man which has not yet been made but will be made very soon.
You shall also experience this. Only commune with the Father, and then you shall see such a profound picture of the ambience that you have not seen before. You shall be seeing as if the inside of man. You shall be seeing the inside of another person so deep as to be able, unerringly, to say as to when he is afraid, when he is feeling anxiety and tension, when he is feeling peace and bliss within himself. And you shall be seeing it without having spoken to the person , and you shall be seeing these things even in a person you have never seen before. It is such a deep insight of man‘s character, provided to you by your relationship with the Father, that shall enable you to have a better contact with the environment that is not favorable to you. Then you shall be feeling much better as to how much knowledge on the Father you might reveal in this environment, as to how much you might be heard and understood by the men who are sincere and seeking the Father and His love in that dark environment.
The environment is not homogeneous. You shall always find small bright spots against the dark background. It is for these spots that you shall be shining with your little ray to move this other dead little ray out of stasis, to show the direction of its seeking to within his own self. And to be able to set up a mutual relationship quicker you need this deeper and more insightful vision of that man‘s character. Even a spiritual path it is not of the sort to accommodate merely victories and wins.
The only thing that the Father guarantees you, each, is an ever new experience and bliss. Meanwhile doing the Father‘s will, you personally will not be able to effect another person‘s will in any other way but by your sincerity and an act of love in service. However, not always that will yield the fruits you desire for however much you could see the character of a man at that moment you must bear in mind that even the strongest, the most resolute character, in the human matters, can turn completely weak, in the divine matters, and where its resolution and boldness are required for action it can become cowardice and inactive, and even in the field where it is necessary for the man to enlighten himself, and in a very quiet manner and while being alone.
Therefore, do not get disillusioned when the person, who is so enthusiastically listening to you and who seems to you as the one who could also make his own contribution to spreading his own ray of light, very soon shall shrink himself from this light and shall draw back to where this light is not that live and blinding him, where there is a simpler ritual and even a communion with God by already well-known methods.
A spiritual path is the path only of victories to each, walking on it, merely in a personal sense. However painful experience you accumulate, all the same it is developing you, personally each. And you must comprehend it very deeply. Even the friends or relatives, even the beloved ones, who have turned away from you are developing you and providing you a chance to climb up ever new peaks of the spiritual mountains. There are no defeats on the spiritual path. There is an accumulation of one‘s experience only. And it is not necessarily an accumulation of a pleasant experience that makes up the conquering of the peak. The experience of one‘s betrayal and subsequently one‘s still bigger devotion to a spiritual service – to love and goodness – is also the conquering of a spiritual peak; and one of the most meaningful experiences in molding you, each, as a son or daughter of the Father.
It is easy to serve where there are many similar loyal children of the Father. However, it requires a big faithfulness to the Father to serve in love and mercy where others are impeding this service, slandering and blackmailing; and to serve quietly alone by oneself. Yet it is even more difficult to serve still more steadfastly when you being betrayed and abandoned by your former fellow-travelers on this path, when they turn away from you and even slander you. That is the highest test of the growth of one‘s own self – one‘s faithfulness.